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Topics - Phmode

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1
The Euro K Club Lounge / It's a good time to get a NIP...
« on: Yesterday at 03:47:40 pm »
...relatively speaking!

The Saturday morning after the Wrinklies trip I was trundling up the A417 heading for home and was just passing the bend leading onto the mega mile straight by the Daglingworth exit. Now this straight is getting very dodgy as Glos Cops have got a camera with a long lens that can id the driver at 1100 metres and although I haven't stopped and used the binoculars to spec it out, what with the dips and crests in this stretch of the road I reckon that from their favourite parking spot at the far end of the straight in the lay-by at Granny's Pumps, they 'may' be able to get you all the way back here.

The Garmin was squawking like mad at me and I was saying 'I know, I bloody know, stop nagging me. I'm looking for the bloody thing! It isn't there...! Ah heFll...it's HERE!'

The car in front had been meandering all over the road and was slowing down so I had decided to pop past him. There was a bike coming up fast so I hoofed it and pulled in just in time to spot the bloody van hiding in the shade under a couple of trees. The bike behind me stood on it's nose as he realised why I was brake testing him and the clown in the car just carried on as if nothing was happening in front of him and nearly collected my rear bumper. Remember, I was doing a Brian and had gone down to Worthing in the car. If I'd been on the bike who knows what would have happened.

92 is my usual cruising speed so I was relieved to get the NIP saying I was only doing 88...

I wasn't sure what I was expecting and I have always said I wouldn't do a speed awareness course as a) I know what speed I'm doing and b) I wouldn't be able to keep my big mouth shut in class with all the bollox they spout.

So, a conditional offer of 3 points and £100 was a relief because a) it could have been a lot worse and b) they 'might' have offered me the course and then I 'might' have had to swallow my principles as it were.

Still, 20'odd years since the last NIP and I went to court and beat them that time so I figure I'm still ahead.

This is probably the Covid bonus. Courts are jammed to the rafters, no one wants to run a speed awareness course with only two socially distanced berks in the class, coughing and sneezing, so the conditional offer seems like a reasonable compromise.

I'll take that. And if you think you are due a NIP on the law of averages, now is not a bad time to get it in  :)

3
Praise or Shame / Cotswold Motorrad, Cheltenham
« on: August 13, 2020, 09:12:15 pm »
Despite concerns raised by others about the quality of the 'service' at Cotswold, I decided to take the K in for an annual service rather than schlepping all the way to Oxford to get it done at NOG, who have looked after both the K12 and 13 ever since I crossed Vines off my Xmas card list (continually charging me for four spark plugs every time my 2002 single spark 1150GS went in for service and NEVER checking the electrolyte level on my lead-acid battery (because it has a sealed for life battery, not) and deciding that Bahnstormer didn't really care one way or another.

It's a strange place for sure. It seems as though the Motorrad place has been built in the underground car park of the car dealership and althouh someone has gone to expensive lengths to try to tart it up (still a working progress (sic) ), it still looks like the inside of a very large container parked in the corner. My mate made me promise to tell him if the coffee machine was working as it had never worked in all the time he has been going there. It wasn't. But it did have a sign on it saying that the fire alarm would be tested at 11 am today and that we should not evacuate. It wasn't and we didn't.

So, I was told that to get a coffee one had to exit said container and trek across the car park, into the car dealership and up the escalator to the coffee bar where a gorgeous young thing in a length of navy coloured crushed silk, fashioned into a sort of elegant dress, would gladly make me a happy man drink of my choosing and supply any number of pastries.

This she duly did. Many times.

The bike was booked in for 9am 'so you are first in' (to get to be first in at Vines one had to be up at sparrow-fart and on the ramp by 7).

It was all pleasant and efficient enough but the staff spent way too much time chatting to one another and way too little attending to customers. However, as first on the ramp my bike was whisked away for an oil and filter change, full brake fluid change, final drive oil change and a general wipe over with an oily rag.

The bike was ready by just after 11 and there were only two other customers in by that time with two more having troubled the staff with queries about duff batteries (on a GS) and to pick up some horrendously expensive luggage.

It then took the guy almost 25 minutes to prepare my invoice amd I was the only customer waiting to go remeber. I don't know if it is just me but I want to strangle someone when it all goes pear-shaped at the end like this.

Anyway, the bill came to £265 which, despite biting my tongue and saying nowt, I didn't feel was that expensive. Maybe I'm getting old.

Of course, there was no mention of lubricating my ball joint or greasing my nipples but that's modern service for you.

Now then, where did I put that young lady's number?

4
So, out for a gentle bimble yesterday and remember taking a good-angle right turn at some speed rather than stopping to give way to the speeding transit coming t'other way. Nae problem.

On the return, I remembered the turning as I approached and figured it would be a full-stop with a lingering look over the right shoulder. It was and also slightly uphill for me. There was nothing coming and so I pulled out, cranked over to the left slightly and that's when all hell broke loose.

I was close to home and getting tired on the first K run since lockdown and was a little tardy at getting my left boot up on the peg. Suddenly the bike was bolt upright and crossing the white line and my left leg was trapped somewhere.

I managed to stop, straddling the line, to find my left (folding) peg had caught on top of my boot, despite having trousers over boots. The more I had tried to crank left, the harder the peg dug in and pushed me upright, the grippy sole of my boot sticking fast to the tarmac and rapidly taking my heel back toward the tyre.

It took a second or two to untangle myself and luckily the now approaching car driver figured I was some sort of imbecile and stopped well short of me. That shook me up! Not the car stopping, I would have been really shaken up if he hadn't...

I've had the opposite problem on the off-road spec Honda where my trouser cuff has got hooked on the spikes on the peg and stopped me getting my boot down at a badly cambered T-junction and now I mostly tuck my trousers in my boots off-road, but that can be messy and wet...

Had it been a busy road the outcome could and very well would, have been very different and hopefully that was a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

6
e-mail today from TomTom stating that speed camera warnings are now banned in Germany...

7
...no, seriously, come on, put your hands up.

Thought so.

So, as someone who thought he had just read every word of his just renewed insurance policy (with the same insurer for the last 20 years, on the car, not the bikes) here is a salutory lesson.

The car was hit by a 90mph pheasant back in January and although at first glance the damage seemed to be a cloud of feathers and a few stuck to the front splitter, it turned out to be much more. One bit of the 'much more' was an empty washer bottle which couldn't be filled. Well it could, but it was always empty next day.

MoT was due and a non-functioning washer system is a failure so I stuck it in for the MoT with an instruction to look into the leak before failing it.

The leak was accompanied by a cracked grille and the whole front had to come off to sort the washer problem which turned out to be a broken pipe to the headlamp wash-wipe system. Instructions given to fit new grille etc. while they were at it and gimme a quote.

The initial quote was about the same as my excess so I wasn't too bothered about claiming but then they phoned to say there was more damage so I rang the insurance company to explain and ask for advice, I mean not every day I make a claim.

The guy assured me I could have it fixed and pay the bill and then claim later but he pointed out that I wouldn't get a courtesy car and it might take 3-5 working days to get the claim approved as it wasn't being repaired by one of their approved repairers (who don't do MoT's and are an hour away...). Was it still drivable he asked? Well, yes, apart from not having a front end on it...and anyway they have already ordered the new grille. OK sayeth he, not a problem and he confirmed my excess on the, by now old, policy was the same as on my renewed one.

So, car fixed in a day, courtesy signwritten Citroen Berlingo Van certainly up there with the nightmares I have had in the past and by next morning the car is legal and I'm happy.

So, called the insurance company to make my claim and the error of my ways was pointed out to me...have it repaired at anywhere other than one of their approved repairers and you can add £200 to your excess!

WHAT? WHERE DOES IT SAY THAT?

Well, of course it says that, at the bottom of page four of my policy documentation.

So, when I phoned for advice on making a claim, apart from not getting a courtesy car, why was this not pointed out to me. It should have been. Well it wasn't. And your recording of the conversation will prove that.

So, now we await the team leader's review of said recording.

So, do you know if your excess goes up if you make a claim for repairs at a non-approved repairer?

Come on now, hands up...

And why would this even matter? Well, partly because by and large, main dealers are NOT on the insurance companies' approved list. Nobby's Jobbing Shop for repairs to your K anyone?

8
Praise or Shame / Drift Innovation
« on: January 09, 2020, 07:55:32 pm »
Some years ago I had two SMIDSY moments in the same week. Some eejit managed to almost kill me while I was stopped at lights on the bike, followed two days later by a daft twit on a bike pulling out into my car's nearside wing despite the fact I had been trickling alongside him in stop-start traffic on the old Newbury by-pass for the previous 200 metres...

I bought my first dash cam the same day.

I didn't fancy the form factor of the Go-Pro and plumped for the Drift HD Ghost and despite some initial glitches it was soon up and running doing sterling duty on both my car windscreen and my bike helmet.

So far so good.

So good in fact, that I then stumped up for the much smaller Stealth 2 when it was on offer but was somewhat disappointed by its fixed battery life, unlike the Ghost for which I can carry a load of batteries in my tank bag and keep going all day and night if need be.

So, imagine my dismay when I discovered that the Drift app on my iPhone would no longer work.

Oh well. Turns out there's a new one, Drift Life which, as Sod's Law dictates, no longer supports my 'ancient' camera.

I contacted Drift who assured me that it was never their intention to leave their early adopters high and dry and that if I used the following code I would be able to buy a new camera at 20% off.

Gee! So, I have a perfectly good camera which may well last another 10 years but which is now virtually redundant as far as the great user features in the app are concerned.

So, one wonders how long before my Stealth 2 is no longer supported.

We are all used to built-in obsolescence but this new-age, new fangled tangential obsolescence is a new one on me.

So, in the market for a new dash cam? Well, you know what to buy...

9
The Euro K Club Lounge / Well deserved thanks...
« on: December 31, 2019, 11:46:58 pm »
I'd like to take this opportunity to say a huge 'thank you' to our mods, Matt, Rae and Richard (in alphabetical order, not based on seniority or effort expended or good looks or riding ability).

We had a pretty torrid time of it earlier in the year with all sorts of 'attacks' on the forum, mainly from our friends from the old Soviet bloc but thanks to sterling work by the team, we seem to have come out of it unscathed.

EuroKClub now has well over 600 members, past and present, which isn't bad considering where we were at this time on the first day of 2015!

So, here's wishing you all an enjoyable, safe and peaceful 2020 no matter what, where or how you ride.

Brian (who says 'unless you are that pillock of a learner on a smoking rat-bike with no dip switch that nearly took my wing mirror off this evening'  ::) )

10
The Euro K Club Lounge / Crappy Histmas
« on: December 24, 2019, 03:53:11 pm »
Seeing as it is now the 24th, it 'might' not be too early to wish one and all very merry Christmas and a peaceful and safe 2020.

Brian (who won't be getting any presents this year, because, despite knocking down his old faux chimney and fireplace with his mini road drill and getting stress fractures to both wrists, still hasn't managed to get his log burner installed so there's no twin-wall flue for Santa to come down  >:( )

11
The Euro K Club Lounge / Politics...
« on: December 18, 2019, 04:13:54 pm »
OK, OK, OK! I know we don't have any rules but we do have an understanding that we don't do politics, religion or sex in here (except in the dark corners when no-one is looking...)

However, I just opened a Xmas card from a British friend who married a US Airman 30 odd years ago and has spent the last 25 living in various US states as he (now a civilian but still working for the military) moved from post to post.

They have now settled in Oklahoma and are both retired'ish.

Her Xmas card made reference to 'the Orange clown' and also to the fact that OK is a VERY red state.

This confused me (not the bit about the clown) and being a bear of very little brain I have never understood the US political system (nor the UK one come to that) nor the similarities and differences between them and then I found this wonderful website...

http://www.rogerdarlington.me.uk/USvsUK.html

...which made more sense than any other I have ever come across. Well written, aimed just right and even I understand it

So, if you have 'murrican friends and struggle to understand their system, this compare and contrast site makes for fascinating reading on a cold and miserable Wednesday.

12
The Euro K Club Lounge / Faraday Cage/RFID/Bacofoil anti-theft wotsits
« on: November 30, 2019, 06:55:02 pm »
Sitting in a friend's house working my way down a bottle of Scotch Ordinaire when the next door neighbour (RAC patrolman and local ACDC security freak) sends a text saying 'Wrap yer daughters in tinfoil and keep 'em away from the car, there are lots of thefts of Cherman cars in the area and I've just spotted a couple of suspicious cars lurking in the area'. I think he must have been further down his bottle of sin than I am cos a) I don't have any daughters and b) if I had they wouldn't mind being stolen.

So, having dutifully wrapped all our car keys in tin foil and ordered Secure by Design Faraday Cage key pouches from t'internet for future use, the question arose; do we need them? We don't have keyless entry but we do have 'attractive' German motors. Can thieves still nick 'em by purloining the code over the airways?

Any road up, nowt to do with cars but what about our bikes? The K has a transponder thingy which I 'think' only works on proximity and not 'wireless voodoo' stuff. But is I right?

Can thieves spoof our bike's security system into life somehow by a) nicking a code and b) screwdrivering the ignition barrel?

Brian (who, as a BSc (1967 - failed) in electronic engineering should know this stuff but doesn't)

13
Announcements / Yahoo! groups.
« on: October 18, 2019, 11:35:14 am »
Not an announcement about us but one that may affect lots of our members who use Yahoo! Groups in other fields...

"Message
1 Yahoo groups are closing on December 14th.
Wed Oct 16, 2019 7:01 am (PDT) . Posted by: "Wilson Logan" evildrome_boozerama
Yahoo groups are closing on December 14th.

All content will be deleted.

If you want to backup the posts, photos & files from this group you can use
a program called PG Offline.

It has a 14 day free trial which will be ample time to download this group.

http://www.personalgroupware.com/downloads.htm

Cheers,

Wilson Logan (PGO Creator)."

...I include the above message despite the sender being the creator of the software he recommends.

Yahoo appears to be closing all its groups, not accepting any more content and ultimately deleting all the content of all groups.

For me and the other users of the same telescopes as myself, this is a major hit. Three of our groups have archives going back decades, some of which were ported to Yahoo when it first set up Groups.

One of my astronomy groups moved to Groups.io earlier this year and that is working better than Yahoo Groups ever did.

If any of you are in Yahoo Groups and want to move to Groups.io I can heartily recommend them based on my experience so far, although because of the impending demise of Yahoo Groups, there is now a one year premium payment to port content to Groups.io

The above utility allows groups or members to download their group's content for use offline.

14
The Euro K Club Lounge / Michelin Rewards?
« on: August 30, 2019, 01:59:03 pm »
Just received an e-mail from Michelin (correctly addressed to me and using my name) saying my claim has been approved and I should allow up to 28 days for my reward to arrive.

This is strange, as although I have PR4's on the bike, they were fitted at least two years ago and I used to have Michelin's on my old A6 which I haven't owned for 20 months. I have made claims in the past, I'm sure I would have remembered not getting my due rewards.

So, is this some sort of new scam, a cock-up by Michelin or are they really that slow?

Anyone else seeing these mails.

Needless to say I have my bank details ready to hand just in case they need me to reveal all...

15
The Euro K Club Lounge / AirMan Tyre Inflator
« on: July 27, 2019, 10:55:38 am »
For whatever reason (burglars, mice, idiot home-owner etc. etc.) one of my two original AirMan inflators is missing in action, presumed dead.

This discovery came at the least convenient time, Nerg Nail in car tyre (OK, Nerg's cousin, Sally Errant Wheelarch Securing Screw).

Pulled it out, nothing, Yippee! Spat on it, pee'ed on it, still no bubbles. Sooper  8)

Next morning, the dreaded half-flat tyre. Inflated with the big compressor and pondered life while attempting to find AirMan, last seen still in original box sometime before house move two years ago...

The one that has the connectors for the bike is present and correct but not much use in the boot of the car in an emergency is it?

Tried to plug tyre with Dynaplug Carbon wotsit but brass bit wouldn't go all the way in and nor would it come out...

Eventually drove into town and got tyre repaired and brass bit professionally removed by use of very large 'roughing tool'.

So, I now need a new AirMan so that I can put it somewhere safe till I find my other one...

Nippy Normans have them reduced from £29 to £19 but with £2.55'ish postage I went straight to fleabay and got one for £18.95 and free postage.

So, if you need a highly recommended inflator for the bike, car, ex-RNLI inflatable etc. don't go to Nippy's  8)

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