Day Sixteen (1st July)Finally I get to leave the rubbish 'hotel' and role the dice on the next place (spoiler: it's alright (double spoiler: it had bed bugs)). I got up early and walked into town at 0730 to get the BAM I needed to pay the bill. Then I went straight back. Checking the phone - and the sky - I spied dark clouds, and the phone showed little lightning bolts off the coast too, so I decided to try and outrun it. Even though it was in front of me. I don't play by the rules.
I packed the bike, paid the smoking woman (she smokes), and got going. Firstly to the petrol station and then south. Fifteen minutes in and the rain started. I could see lightning roughly where I was heading. To the hills. Where stuff traditionally likes to precipitate. It only got worse from there. Torrential rain, roads flooding, me getting too wet before finally stopping and putting on waterproofs. And finally I regretted not bringing waterproof gloves, though after 6 hours I think they'd have given up anyway. The first 3/5ths of the ride was in Bosnia and generally uneventful other than the storm and answering calls from the vets at home. Apparently my cat has stopped eating.
The border was easy! Getting out I showed passport and then the V5 when asked. Less than a minute and I start riding through no-man's land. Getting into Montenegro took a bit longer as there was a queue of maybe 7 or 8 cars. When I finally got there the guy took my passport, then V5, a minute or so later returned them and finally said "nice bike". Off I went. In the rain. I switched from my lightweight - entirely soaking - gloves to my leather gauntlets at this stage, forgetting that they bleed colour like … I dunno. A huge fucking thunder crack just went off overhead and I lost my train of thought. Ok so yes, two by two, hands of blue. Or black. Because the ink from the gloves runs.
Montenegro seems made up of lakes and roads by lakes. And mountains. If it wasn't raining it'd be glorious. Although their roads are a bit iffy, some dodgy foundations, land slips etc. Also I came across my first bull in the road, herd of goats in the road, and actual roadworks going on where they literally dug up a nice bit of road in front of us, pushed it out the way, then ushered us along the newly uncovered foundations. I suppose it beats closing the only road going north-south for a week!
Ok, some 6 hours since I left I got to the place. Ethno Village Moraca. It's some lake-side (almost) wooden shed/cabin type affairs on concrete stilts down a cratered gravel track. When I arrived nobody was here to let me in, and it was still raining heavily, so I was about to set fire to it all and ride back to Brian's. Luckily just then the guy drove up and showed me to my hut. It's alright. A bit dark but so is the day. All nice new pine though and no neighbours. Dinner at 7. The booking.com site has people saying dinner and breakfast are large and great, so fingers crossed. The weather is still insane and I think the storm is… whatever 5 seconds away is. I'm sat on a covered veranda type thing typing this as the rain hurtles down so violently it occasionally finds its way onto the monitor screen. Huge flashes and thunder louder than I've ever heard. Oh, and the power just went out. Pretty dramatic until you remember everybody poops.
At 7 the guy turned up in his 4x4 thing and I wandered over. Think flat roof building, a smoking chef, and a watery view out some big windows. The menu had… not a lot, but for mains one item was Chicken and one was Pork. So I asked for chicken. But my spider senses were tingling so I went over and asked for chips too. Just as well as Chicken turned out to be chicken and nothing else at all. So I had some hammered chicken with slim chips. And some local red wine. Thank Noel Edmonds for alcohol, I'd be lost/a lot more annoyed without it.
Goodbye bridge.
Hello damp Montenegro.
Rain rain rain.
Wine!
The End of Rain.
Day Seventeen (2nd July)Today I had breakfast. Some strange sausages, a boiled egg, some bread and cheese, and a fried maybe potato type thing. Did the job. There were also a few bike guys from the Czech Republic who I chatted with for a while. Then I rode into the capital city Podgorica which was rather easy, and got petrol and bottled water because Montenegro. And Albania.
Next I spent some time trying to get my Bosnian BH Telecom SIM working here again. It looks to be impossible. Email support told me I needed at least 0.08KM credit on the account in order to be able to then use my included data GB in other Balkan countries, and apparently when selling you a 'Tourist' SIM they don't think to either include or mention this. How do add credit? I call their helpline and find out that it's done in shops. In Bosnia. Yeah I'm in Montenegro, how can I do it? "you can't".
So, BH Telecom is shit. In my highly valuable opinion. If all the above is correct then I should have bought a SIM and then gone direct to another shop to add credit, even though it was pre-loaded. Weirdos. And this is supposed to be an agreement even simpler than our EU roaming one. Except it isn't.
It's hot here today and the storm looks to have buggered off so I've done some washing and stuff is on the line with my 3D printed clothes pegs that were totally not a waste of time. I'm not riding the bike again today, and am also drying gloves and jacket etc from yesterday.
Addendum alert! Addendum alert! Duodenum alert! They all talk rubbish. I created an account online with BH Telecom, but couldn't link it to my MSISDN. However, after holding my phone with Translate open at their website I found where to do the equivalent of anonymous top-ups to any number. Which I did. And bam it's working. So no thanks to the help desk lady who having learned English forgot to learn how her network works.
I didn't want to hang these on the line to dry so they were left here to dry.
Much nicer morning view.
A little while later, beer.
Getting darker.
Dessert of some pancakes with Nutella and i dunno, goose gravel.
Some party was going on down the way. I slightly expect to see James Bond on a speed boat.
Day Eighteen (3rd July)Ok. Something bit my back. I waited for his 0900 breakfast but by then it was hot and the breakfast was not going down well. In hot weather I lose my appetite quicker than an instagram model loses their clothes. So I rode off and after passing various road-inhabiting animals etc got to the Albanian border. Another easy crossing. Hani i Hotit, north of Shkodra lake. I should mention this was the first time I paid more attention to working out where to cross, as reviews/reports of corrupt border staff started to be a thing. For future reference the two that came back as decent were this one and the one near Muriqan, south of the lake. But that one had more heavy traffic apparently.
I then rode a simply awesome mountain pass (The SH20 to Brigdje then Grabom is my best half arsed effort at saying where it is). New smooth roads, proper barriers, incredible views I didn't stop to photograph, and almost no traffic. Other than the ridiculous speed limits regularly appearing at bends it was road excellence. Then I came back down and got on my way.
Unfortunately after the above delightful new tarmac almost the entire rest of the trip was on either stupidly busy arrow straight roads or falling apart roads that looked like multiple earthquakes had hit them. I was in 1st gear and below trying to find my way through these, and also avoiding cars/lorries doing the same in the opposite direction. The SH6 which basically crosses the country as the main road was this nightmare. And about three quarters of the way through I noticed my clutch lever had developed about an inch of free play at the start of the pull.
For the rest of the journey I tried my best not to use the clutch, whilst imagining all the fun things it could be. At this stage I was overtaken by a couple of Czech bikes, one two-up. As ever, having a pace car helps a great deal in a foreign country so I tagged on. This lasted a good while, and then I lead for a bit after we took two different routes through a town. Eventually we went our separate ways.
Oh yes, just before I get to the end of this ride I finally see a petrol station with the MasterCard and Visa logos. I'd seen a few of these on the west side of the country but nothing but cash since, and Albania is the country of cash. Having few Euros and no Lek I stopped. The attendant nodded when I asked "card?" And as I stood next to my bike a guy by the main building, sat at some plastic chair and table setup nodded at me and asked "coffee?" Being half dead I accepted his invitation and went and joined him. Then I spied the impressive looking gold watch. And the overtly showy rings on his fingers. And the deferential attitude of the other guys present toward him. So then for a while I thought i'd soon be full dead. No English, he had a bit of Italian. And then he made a call to someone and I heard "moto" and that was about it. Who needs kidneys anyway? Then my espresso and a bottle of water arrived and the guy who brought it said "you have a friend," and nodded at 'the guy'. So 'the guy' paid for my refreshments. Kidneys work better hydrated.
Then his 10 year old daughter turned up who knew more English, and we finally established that 'UK' on my plate wasn't for Ukraine (maybe they were planning an extraordinary rendition). As she didn't ask my blood type I started to feel safer. Then I asked "quanta, euro, fuel"? And it turned out cash not card was accepted. Luckily they intimated Euros were ok and I had enough of those. After a while of listening as they talked away, occasionally nodding at me - and one guy in particular seeming to not like me much - everyone got up. We all shook hands and 'the guy' got into some people carrier and was carried away. I got on my bike and rode another fifteen minutes of shit roads to my hotel. Upon coming to a halt I found the bike didn't want to stop! So finally the clutch was no longer fully disengaging.
This and my cat is on hunger strike, and they've spent nearly the cost of this trip already on investigating. And then on getting into the hotel and showering I found I'd come in contact with some bed bugs, probably at the last place. Brilliant. I spent the evening eating some local food and drink, and working out what to do. My easiest solution was to try and ride to the next stop, Ohrid in Macedonia - about 60 miles away - where I googled a mechanic who looked to have experience dealing with foreign idiots on big bikes. Oh, and some old boy here kept coming over and showing me photos of weird stuff - some hospital corridor; some famous woman - and saying maybe Italian words I didn't understand. Then he invited me to his house tomorrow. At this time I was contemplating going straight to Ohrid so I politely declined. Or at least I hope I was polite.
I should add, this hotel is really nice. It's only existed for a year or so (check street view for Nëna Dashuri Agroturizëm south of Peshkopi. The room is lovely, the views are great. There's air conditioning and friendly staff. Only downside is their massive guard dogs keeping my bike safe also like to make sure every other animal within a few miles knows they are there. All night. All night long. Except i'm not singing or dancing or losing myself in wild romancing. So shut up!
Welcome to Albania, what a nice road.
And a nice hotel. Yeah no rubbish road photos, I was too busy.
View from room/restaurant. Awesome.
Day Nineteen (4th July)Breakfast. Then feel dodgy stomach. Then google some more about my issue - oh yes and my brain trust helped a great deal the night before here, thanks Martin and Rich - and started to think it's a bit stupid riding when the only way to stop - if the clutch won't disengage - is to lock the rear wheel by using the kill switch.
I finally called my insurance (BeMoto Titanium cover) breakdown cover and got the ball rolling there. This was an ordeal in itself, as I was trying to use by supposedly Balkan-wide SIM which surprise surprise wasn't. In the end I had to keep upping my spend limit on my UK SIM.
A few disconnections, return calls late and we have recovery just about arranged. Maybe. My suggestion and preference was still to take me into Macedonia where I already have accommodation and can likely wait however long is needed. This caused some challenge as they don't usually cross international borders with breakdowns. I'm currently waiting for a call back to confirm the plan, as I suspect they might try and keep me in country. This will mean they incur accommodation and possibly rental costs, so seems a bit short-sighted. We'll see.
After another call the plan seems to be agreed. A local partner company quoted them to do it (450 odd Euros I think), which I am trying to confirm isn't my problem (i.e why does he keep telling me the cost if it isn't my problem?). Other than now being overdue a call back to confirm we're sorted, I'm relatively confident. I have a fallback if the place in Ohrid can't solve it which is the breakdown cover I have with KTM directly as a benefit of servicing it with them. It's only a recent offering but should get me… somewhere else should I need it.
The day ends with it all agreed, i'll get picked up "to get towed to Macedonia" in the morning. I did twice say to the English speaking French call centre guy "just to check, when you say tow you mean on the back of a truck" and I think he understands. To be fair the standard of their English in that call centre was much better than any conversation i've had with a French person in France before.
Dinner tonight was steak and chips and was very good, and a heck of a lot of chips! There may have even been dessert but I can't remember now. Let's say yes and it was great. I also spent way too long examining all my clothes and bags for bed bugs. It would appear I got away without bringing them with me, or perhaps riding in 35c weather and having most stuff in black panniers got them to the killing temperature of over 40c.
Breakfast with a view. Pretty big sky round these parts of the firmament.
A much more appropriate vehicle for these roads.
Why are these things so prevalent?! God help me the tick tick tick of that thing accompanied my whole childhood.
Now we're talking. I wonder if it came from a road-cow.
Clouds are getting busy. Wide angle lens makes for dramatics.
