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Topics - drumwrecker

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31
K Club Humour / Canny Scots
« on: September 13, 2018, 12:01:20 pm »
Three local Glasgow lads and three English lads were in a ticket queue at Glasgow Central train station.
 
Each of the three English boys bought a ticket, but they noticed the three Scots bought just one ticket for the three of them. "How are all of you going to travel on the one ticket?" asked one of the English boys.
 
"Ye ha'e  to watch and learn." answered one of the local boys. When the six travellers boarded the train, the three English found seats and sat down, but the three Scots crammed into a toilet together and closed the door.
 
When the conductor came collecting tickets, he tapped on the toilet door,
"Tickets please!"
The door opened just a crack and a single arm handed over a ticket. The conductor took it and moved to the next car. The English boys thought this indeed so clever that they would do the same thing on the return trip. In conversation they found that they were all going to the same football match, so may as well meet again after the match and travel together on the trip back north.
 
That evening at the station the English blokes bought just the one ticket for the return trip, but to their astonishment, the three Scots didn't buy any ticket at all.
When they asked how this would work, again the Scots told them to watch and learn.
 
When they boarded the train the three English boys crammed themselves into the one toilet and the three Glasgow lads crammed into another toilet across the passage.
 
Shortly after the train began to move, one of the Scots lads left their toilet, walked over to the English boys' toilet and banged on the door, "Ticket please"

32
K Club Humour / Frrom my doctor next door neighbour
« on: August 20, 2018, 10:19:52 pm »
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman eating a sandwich at a nearby table begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

 

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says: "Kin ya swallar?"
The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks: "Kin ya breathe?"
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
 
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.
His partner says: "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I never seed nobody done it."
 




33
K1200 / K1300 Forum / Oil price
« on: August 13, 2018, 09:12:54 am »
How do they do it?
https://www.ato24.de/en/bmw-advantec-ultimate-5w-40-motorrad-motoroel-1-l.html

Postage to UK 19 euros for four bottles and 19 euros for 20 so possibility for a bulk buy with riders nearby to you.


34
K1200 / K1300 Forum / ways of checking the oil level on K13s
« on: August 10, 2018, 07:42:05 pm »
I have read on FB that the oil level can be checked via the on board computer.
Is this correct and if how is it done?
Thanks

36
Euro K Club Events / BMW K1300s Meeting and chin wag 2nd Sept
« on: July 21, 2018, 08:52:51 pm »
From the K13s FaceBook page.
Sunday September 2nd at
Jacks Hill Café
A5 Watling Street, NN12 8ET, Towcester, Northants
Get together for a breakfast, chat K's and look at each other's bikes.

37
K Club Humour / A Well Run Busness
« on: June 07, 2018, 11:32:33 am »
A Well Run Business

Me:  I was doing an overnight at a hotel away from home. I took my computer down to the bar to do some data entries. I sat down at the bar and I asked the bartender,
‘What’s the wifi password?’
Bartender: 'You need to buy a drink first.'
Me:  'Okay, I’ll have a beer.'
Bartender:  'We have Molson’s Canadian on tap'
Me:  'Sure. How much is that?'
 Bartender:  '$8.00.'
 Me:  'Here you are.  OK now, what’s the wifi password?'
Bartender:  ' "youneedtobuyadrinkfirst";  No spaces and all lowercase.'

38
K1200 / K1300 Forum / K1300s
« on: April 01, 2018, 10:45:14 pm »
I'm not telling you anything you don't already know about the K13s but due to a total knee replacement 3rd Feb and fitting replacement front discs I haven't ridden my K13s since the end of January.
I had been out on my 750 VFR and really loved the bike but I must say the K13s was absolutely wonderful to ride today.
What a  bike.

39
K1200 / K1300 Forum / They do have the technology
« on: March 28, 2018, 03:18:59 pm »

40
K Club Humour / EFFECTIVE SUICIDE COUNSELLING!
« on: March 23, 2018, 12:49:27 pm »
EFFECTIVE SUICIDE COUNSELLING!

A desperate looking woman stood poised on the edge of a high cliff about to jump off.
A filthy tramp wandering by stopped and said, "Look, since you'll be dead in a few minutes, and it won't matter to you, how about a shag before you go?"
 
She screamed, "NO! Bugger off you filthy old bastard!"

He shrugged and turned away saying, "Okay, I'll just go and wait at the bottom then."
..................She didn't jump.........

42
K1200 / K1300 Forum / Mahle airfilter
« on: March 19, 2018, 01:30:23 pm »
Would you use these?
They appear extremely cheap, just wondering if this is a reliable make.
https://www.opieoils.co.uk/p-69085-mahle-air-filter-lx1892-for-bmw-motorcycles-k-1300.aspx

43
K1200 / K1300 Forum / How to ride when roads are wet
« on: March 19, 2018, 10:15:53 am »

44
K1200 / K1300 Forum / MOT failure?
« on: March 08, 2018, 07:36:25 pm »
My offside front disc bobbins are worn somewhat. Brakes are still good and discs are only half worn.

What are my options in the event of an MOT failure?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ycecv8ftEM&feature=youtu.be


45
K Club Humour / Skin Graft
« on: January 30, 2018, 07:04:29 pm »
A married couple were in a terrible accident in which the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too thin. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.
However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honour their secret.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, ”Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you.”
“My darling,” he replied, ”Think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”

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