Train? Bloody train??
Last time I 'took' a train was in 1998. I was working with the Environment Agency in Bristol and they sent me to Leeds for a day. They gave me a train ticket warrant.
I rocked up at Reading station and handed in the warrant. The girl took it and turned it into a First Class ticket. Ooh!
I stood all the way to Paddington, the way that all travellers do on British trains, 1st class or cattle class...
At Paddington I was met by a lovely guy who took me to the First Class lounge, served me really good coffee and croissants and said he would come for me when my seat on the train to Leeds was ready...
Fuck! Was he hitting on me or what?
Ten minutes later he came to tell me my seat was ready and led me out to the train. He handed me over to a white-waistcoated flunky who took me to my seat, folded my jacket over the back of the seat opposite and asked if I would like tea, coffee or, would I prefer the full English breakfast in the dining car! He had, obviously, reserved me a seat.
I went for the full English and he carried my jacket, newspaper and briefcase as he led me to the seat with my name on it.
I had yet another coffee and croissant followed by eggs, bacon, tomatoes, hash browns, fried bread and a a great big pot of good strong tea.
The meal lasted almost all the way from London to Leeds with many top-ups of almost everything and as we were pulling in, the two guys opposite tidied away their business papers and turned from business conversation to normal chat.
'I always feel sorry for those who paid full price for a first class ticket and get a free breakfast when I only paid second class for both of us and £7:50 eash for the breakfast!' What?
When I looked at the ticket as I handed it to the ticket collector I noticed the price...£437 for a return ticket. In 1998!!!
When I got back to Reading station that night, I asked the guy how I would get 'my' train home with me. 'Woddyermean?' 'Well, I assume that for £437 I have actually bought the train, how do I get it home?'
Haven't been on a train since, as somewhere, I have my own