Those of you who bothered to follow the sorry tale of my double vision whilst straightening out some of Wales' best bends, especially those foolish enough to ride with me, you will be glad to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it could just be the headlight of the oncoming express but hey, progress is progress.

It all began on a day run out on the Welsh Wramble back in 2022 when the world suddenly seemed to tilt on its axis heading into a tightening right hander. Luckily, being tail end Charlie, when I stood the bike up on the brakes while I tried to decide which of the two roads I should take, there was no one behind to collect the black K shaped roadblock.

And then it cleared and on I went. And then it came back and went and came back. Eventually we all stopped and I decided to head back to the B&B. Well, we were sort of on the way back anyway but I bimbled back on my own.

Lots of debate and phaffing around with specs and helmet produced no tangible results and I put it down to a combination of old age, tiredness and a shortage of alcohol.

But next day, even after a couple of bottles of red with supper, it came back again.

Since then I have tried, not in any particular order, changing the prescription for my glasses, twice, changing the frames, ordering new padding for the Schuberth C3 and then cancelling it and buying a Schuberth C5, using plenty of Optrex and maintaining hydration, the latter two on the advice of my optician.

Still no results but lots of evidence to say it happens with all four of my helmets and both of my bikes with about four different pairs of glasses whilst the longest ride before it happens is about an hour and half and the quickest onset was 20 mins on the wee Honda. And there are no other symptoms; no headaches, no flashing lights in the eyes, no nothing else.

The optician is baffled and has finally made an appointment at the hospital ophthalmic department for early June with the warning that they may be forced to tell DVLA about the problem which could result in me losing my motorcycle entitlement or even, at the whim of some working-from-home 17 year old bureaucrat, my entire licence. OK, that's serious. But so is the problem.

I have always been in doubt about the fit of my C3, well, both of them to be honest, together with the ancient BMW System 4 (made by Schuberth) and even the brand spanking new C5. And the C5 isn't nearly as comfortable as I remember it in the shop. So last week I actually measured my head which I got to be 58cm whilst all my helmets are 56/57 Mediums.

Despite buying my C5 and both C3's from Helmet City, I decided to reach out to Chris at Motolegends to see if he would check out the fit of the C5. I explained the problems I was having and he told me to get my arse into the shop as soon as possible. That was Tuesday. I presented myself bright and early on Wednesday, had a couple of coffees whilst I waited to be admitted to the inner sanctum and then it all went slightly pear shaped.

I was hoping beyond hope that they would all roll about on the floor in fits of laughter, calling everyone from the office and the warehouse, to come see this daft twat who has been wearing a headshrinkingly tight helmet for the last 20 odd years and in which I have ridden to Athens, the med twice and one half, and all the Wrinklies till the problem started.

But no! To my utter dismay, Chris and various other members of staff declared the C5 to be a perfect fit for my somewhere between 57 and 58 head, other than perhaps sitting a little too low on the brow ridge, a feature about which they could do little in the case of the Schuberth to which I had already added the thinner back head pad.

By this time I had steeled myself to having to spend money on something but better that than a lifetime of taxis and I knew that Chris was going to try to persuade me to go over to the dark side and try a Shoei with the all-singing, all-dancing Personal Fitting Service (only by booking in advance) guaranteeing a perfect fit for a mere £50, refundable on purchase of said Shoei. And that is what happened. Sort of. But not quite.

I really wasn't prepared for the level of genuine concern and care that everyone at Motolegends showed to me when they heard about the problems I was having but when Chris called down his chief FPS consulting guy and told him to fit me up at no cost I was more than a little overwhelmed, but then, the cynic that I am thought it might just be a great marketing tool.

We spent about 20 minutes putting what seemed like a combination of dozens of different bits of foam and padding into a Neotec 3 mule helmet until we got what I felt was a comfortable fit, way different from the Schuberth and with me relying heavily on the Shoei tech and the skill of Rob the fitter. When we had what we both felt was the best possible fit Rob went and got a brand spanking new Neotec 3 in sublime gloss white and transferred all the bits and bobs from the mule into the new one. And with that Chris handed me a returns label and told me to take it away on a sale or return basis and try it for a few days. 'Don't take it to Scotland but Wales is fine...' were his actual words. OK, so he charged me full RRP of a beer under £600 for the privilege but let's face it, he is in business and knows me not from Adam.

And so I drove home with two brand spanking new top of the range gloss white helmets on the back seat of the car (I wasn't riding 120 miles on the bike with double vision, c'mon).

I hated the Shoei from the get go but I got togged up as soon as I got home at 5pm and went out for a couple of hours in the rain. It was actually two and half hours and no sign of double vision. I was impressed. And relieved and went to bed in a slightly better frame of mind than many a night in recent months but tomorrow would be the ultimate test, a day spent hooning around in Wales. I had put a route of sorts into MRA which took me to Newtown and down to Crossgates and thence to the Elan Valley for a blat around the dams before heading back to Crossgates for tea and medals. That would have given me a good three hours with the helmet on if all went well.

I was really pleased when Richard offered to ride over and babysit me and so, all togged up cos the unforecasted rain was spitting and splashing, I rode out to Worcester to meet up. We set off for Leominster and Knighton with Richard in the lead and all was well despite not really knowing how any of the foreign-to-me controls on the Neotec actually worked; such as a lock for the visor which needs a button push to release it...

We swapped over in Leominster and I led out to Knighton before taking the wonderful B4355 Teme Valley road up to Newtown, shadowing the Wales / England border and ignoring the ever increasing signs that insisted the road was closed and there was no entry to Dolfor. There was and so we headed south on the fabulously winding A483 into Crossgates where we decided to stop for tea and brunch and where we were the only bikers present, at least for the first 15 minutes.

I had been wearing the Shoei, which I was hating less as the miles went by, for over 3 hours by then and there was still absolutely no sign of the double vision returning and for the first time in two years I was feeling ever more confident in the hope that it might just have been cured. I do love that winding road but we were both glad to stop at Crossgates.

Fed, watered and refreshed we decided to head back into England rather than pushing on to the Elan Valley as I had declared the helmet test to be a success and so we enjoyed the fast but occasionally over-policed A44 back to Leominster before going our separate ways.

What a relief. No more double vision. No more threepenny-bitting bends trying to decide which was the real road and no more discomfort in the head department after a half day in the saddle, not that I noticed it too much in the C5 in the early days but began to more recently.

And so, having consigned an 800 mile old C5 to the scrap bin of history along with its integral SC2 intercomm system, I now just need to ride back to Motolegends to get them to supply and fit the Sena SRL-03 integrated system into the Neotec. What's yet another £300 compared to giving up riding.

I will still be heading off to see the eye doc because this came out of nowhere with nothing having changed since the previous day and we may still need to get to the bottom that; my optician helpfully said it could be a brain tumour. More anon.

Oh, and if you know anyone in the market for a nearly new Schuberth C5 and /or an SC2, you know who to call.

I have used Two Tyres and they give excellent service.

C'mon Matt keep up 

What's TEC Rae?

With mates like yours, may I suggest an additional huge brake light, you know, one of those things that flashes.