Ok, here is the update:
No update!
after a couple calls to Vines with no call-back I had a reply from BMW Nice which was disheartening. They said 'BMW have told us to reset the computers on the bike' i said it has already been done...which their only response to was 'Would you like to make another appointment?'
So, i have made a new appointment, i am going to translate the very concise list of ideas into french and bring it with me, then ask them to check them out, starting with the ignition coils. I will try to avoid them reprogramming the whole thing (again) as it means i would (i assume) need to get the ECU flashed (again), which is a pain!
either way, another thing i notice (so, sort of an update) is when i start the bike from cold (as in not started in couple days) the initial exhaust note is that of gravel being chewed up for about 3-5 seconds, then it suddenly smooths out. it used to be that obviously it would have a loud startup which would then smooth out, now it is like starting a tractor for 5 seconds or so then smooths into nice note. the fact that this is happening makes me think something is failing slowly and getting worse, the stalling is intermittent but as it is doing this now i think whatever is causing the stalling is getting weaker.