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Topics - Blobby

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1
The Euro K Club Lounge / Yamaha Niken
« on: October 29, 2017, 09:10:01 am »

2
Part of an article i copied from Drivetribe about the Bugatti Chiron

It's big, heavy, has a W16 engine with four turbos, and can do a walloping 1,500 HP. We knew this wasn't going to end well as far as the EPA rating was concerned, right? It's not like you're buying the Chiron for its excellent mileage; in fact, it's quite the opposite. You might as well be in a contest to see which car can get the lowest mileage.

According to the Environmental Protection Agency, the Bugatti Chiron returns, wait for it, 9 MPG in the city and 14 MPG on the highway for a combined rating of just 11 MPG.

Using this combined figure, the EPA estimates that the Chiron's fuel tank is good for only 100 miles at best on the 9.1-gallon fuel tank. That assuming you hypermile the crap out of this car, and who wants to do that? Not a Chiron owner, that's for sure.  :o

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The Euro K Club Lounge / Where's me smilies gone
« on: July 27, 2017, 06:48:25 am »
I seem to have question marks, in the place of some of the emoji's.

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0Bx_RBQwSA1TOVVkxSnNOSXV4bFk

Not sure if the link works, if it doesn't I'll read the comprehensive guides on how too later

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K Club Humour / AAADD.. Not me i hasten to add
« on: June 28, 2017, 07:38:03 pm »
Recently I was diagnosed with AAADD – that’s Age Activated Attention Deficiency Disorder

It manifests itself like this:
 
I decide to water the garden,

As I go to the garage to turn on the hose I look at my car in the driveway and realise it needs washing
 
So I go back into the kitchen and pick up my car keys, then I notice the post on the kitchen table that I had picked up from the hall earlier
 
I decide to go through the post before I wash the car
 
I lay my car keys on the table, sort out the bills and throw the junk mail into the bin that is sitting under the table.
 
I notice that the bin is full.
 
So I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the bin.
 
Then I think since I’m going to the dustbin anyway I may as well pay the bills and post them in the post-box at the bottom of the lane.
 
I pick up my cheque book from the table and realise there is only one cheque left and that the new cheque book is in the desk in my study.
 
So I go into the study to my desk where I find the can of Coke I had been drinking earlier
 
I’m going to look for my cheque book, but I need to move the Coke somewhere safe so I don’t knock it over
 
I realise the Coke is now warm so I decide to put it in the fridge to cool off
 
As I head back towards the kitchen with my Coke a vase of flowers catches my eye, they need watering
 
I put the Coke on the kitchen counter and discover my reading glasses that I had been looking for all morning,
 
I decide I had better put them in my desk so I will know where they are, but first the flowers still need watering
 
I put the glasses back on the counter and fill a container with water
 
I suddenly spot the TV remote which someone has left on the kitchen table
 
I realise that we will need the remote when we come to watch TV tonight, but that I probably won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the lounge where it belongs
 
But first I must water the flowers
 
I pour the water into the vase, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
 
So, I put the remote back on the table and get some towels to wipe up the spill.
 
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
 
At the end of the day:
 
The garden isn't watered
The car isn’t washed
The bills aren’t paid
The bin is still full
There is a warm can of Coke on the kitchen counter
The flowers don’t have enough water,
There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,
I can’t find the remote,
I can’t find my glasses,
I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.
 
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all the damn day, and I’m really tired.
 
I realise this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail….
 
Do me a favour, forward this message to everyone you know, because I don’t remember who the hell I’ve sent it to.
 
Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!!

5
K Club Humour / From a car site i frequent
« on: June 20, 2017, 10:15:06 pm »
Two Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift.
A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells them that he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them.
He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.
“Hey, c’mon our kid,” they say, “gissa lift…”.
The trucker once again explains that he has no room as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls.
The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back with the bowling balls will he give them a lift. The driver agrees.
They finally manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way.
By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough the police pull him up for speeding.
One of the officers asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies “Scouse Eggs”. The policeman obviously doesn’t believe this so wants to take a look. He opens the back door and quickly slams it shut and locks it.
He gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible.
The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires so many officers. “I’ve got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it – two have already hatched and the bastards have managed to nick a motorbike already”.

6
How To - Technical Section / Changing instrument cluster units
« on: May 23, 2017, 02:42:52 pm »
I've been having a play with the GS911 after servicing the bike (Takes more oil then my daughters Yaris 1.5 T-Sport and the oil filter is bigger).
I reset the service counter and updated the time and date to my laptop.
It gives me the option to change the TPM from Bar to PSI and economy to UK mpg etc.. If i go through and change them it still shows it in metric. I tried changing the ambient air temperature from Celsius to Fahrenheit and that worked ok, so I'm not quite sure why I can't have the the tyres pressures in English.

I'm doing this on a MacBook but i can't see that making any difference

Any ideas please

7
The Euro K Club Lounge / I've gawn and spent money again
« on: May 09, 2017, 01:25:17 pm »

SWMBO must never find out either
As I am now doing all my own servicing. I bit the bullet and bought a GS-911, (enthusiast version I'm not loaded like most of the people in here)  :P

Next job is to work out how to use it, if it's anything like deciphering repROM I'm in for a world of confusion.
Feel free to change my flag colour on the map

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The Euro K Club Lounge / I dusted off the 1300R..
« on: April 12, 2017, 10:15:42 pm »
..and took it for its 1st MOT. I expected it to pass with less than 1800 miles on it and of course it did.

That's my total K news this year. As you were, back to what you were saying..  ;D

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K Club Humour / Having a bad day
« on: January 21, 2017, 05:17:31 pm »

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The Euro K Club Lounge / Selfie sticks- What they are meant for
« on: July 16, 2016, 11:04:50 am »

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K Club Humour / Council complaints
« on: June 16, 2016, 06:16:01 am »
Only in Britain - Complaints to Councils - extracts from letters written to local councils:...(All bona-fide)
1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
10.. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.
11.. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
12.. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared..
13.. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
14.. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.
15.. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.
16.. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
17.. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.
18.. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
19.. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
20.. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.
21.. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.
22.. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
23.. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

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Blobby's bikes! / In the crate to home
« on: June 12, 2016, 11:44:53 am »




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The Euro K Club Lounge / Irresponsible riding on the Isle of Man
« on: June 09, 2016, 06:15:50 am »
I don't know about you but i saw many give way and speed limits broken....
Bloody hooligan  ;D ;D ;D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nlzxR6lN7Q

seriously how impressive was that

15
K Club Humour / Italian virgin
« on: May 17, 2016, 11:17:14 pm »
Maria had just gotten married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. On
her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was very nervous.

Her mother reassured her;
'Don't worry, Maria,
Tony isa good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you.
Meanwhile, I'll be making pasta.'

 
So, up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says,
'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.'

 'Don't worry, Maria,' says the mother, 'all good men have hairy chests...
Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.'

 
So, up she went again.. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing
his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother.
'Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!'

 
'Don't worry! All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and
he'll take good care of you.'

 
So, up she went again. When she got there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot
he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a
half!'
 
 
Her Mama said, 'Stay here and stir the pasta.'

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